chapter 2 a walk in the dark episode: 5

A parade of bad dreams I won't remember dances through my mind like a Mary-go-round. Warmth permeates into my pours and waking thoughts as I come up to the surface now and then, before falling fast asleep again and again. I don't move for hours after waking up the final time. I don't know what time it is. I have no access to natural light or a clock. I don't know if it is day yet or for that matter how long I had slept. My body feels impossibly heavy. I try to roll to one side in order to more easily get to my feet. I take in a quick breath in answer to a pain in my ribs that scolds me for attempting to get up. I roll again to my back and rest for a while more before working up the strength and courage to try again.

I receive the same scolding again but I don't give in. I get to my feet. I reach over and turn off the shower that by this time had nothing but frigid water left. I open the door to the bathroom and peer into the dark hall. I turn off the bathroom light. I put my right hand on the wall to guide me down the dark hallway to my room. The blinds on my window are down but the slats are adjusted so that light comes into the room. The pale greenish blue light diplomatically offers the evidence of the nearing dawn. I get dressed slowly. I feel like I’m made of glass, everything hurts.

 I go back to the bathroom. I see in the mirror that blood is still on my face, dried and caked on with mud from the night before. I gently scrub my face with a wash cloth. Little by little my face becomes revealed from behind its former mask. I see for the first time how pink and swollen my face is. There are dark circles below my eyes and my hair has dirt and grease in it from not bathing. I clean off my arms of the dried mud and dirt that is still on them and go into the kitchen. I grab a paper sack off the kitchen counter that has a not on it. The note says sorry honey, I would have said good night but when I got home you were taking a shower and I fell asleep before you were done. I made your lunch like I always do. Your key is on your desk DON'T FORGET YOUR KEY I won't be home to let you in this time. 

The note is signed with love from mom and punctuated with little smiley faces. I am relieved that mom already left work and doesn't get a chance to see my transformed appearance. I look at the clock on the oven and see that it is ten ‘till seven and I will have to start walking in order to get to school on time. I gingerly pull on a sweat shirt and go retrieve my key before walking out the door. I lock the door behind me and stare down the stairs that seem to stare right back at me in defiance. No matter how they look at me these stairs are not going to win! I take one step at a time and one by one conquer them all. I am dry and warm. I look at the path, the same path I walked last night. I was cold, wet, and beaten but now I was warm, dry, and sore. It seems almost surreal; it was as though I was taking a tour of an old unpleasant memory.

Everything becomes brighter as the horizon catches fire. The flames of an early sunrise lick the sky with blazing oranges and yellows. the morning's glow infects the sky and removes any hint of the night before. Everything is soggy and slick but beginning to dry out with the sun's help. I head straight for my 1st period English class. my first period has not only not started despite the snail’s pace I had walked at on the way to school but the door was still locked. There is a group of my classmates forming outside of the door around me waiting for the bell to ring and the door to open.

 My body still aches and my legs are sore. I would welcome the chair at my desk just so I can rest my feet and my back. I have to make the best of it. I stand there as still as I can and don't talk to know one. My plan to not talk to anyone is formulated from the hope that if no one talks to me then no one will get close enough to bump into my incredibly sore self. Suzy Thompson, the one I had never said two words to before I saw her at the diner and mom corrected my order right in front of her, it was that Suzy Thompson that comes up to me and says

"What happened? You look terrible." I look over and see that the door shows no sign of opening so I gesture to Suzy to fallow me a few paces away from the crowed of students waiting in front of our class room for the 1st period bell to ring. She nods and follows me until I feel we won't be listened to.

"Suzy... please don't tell my mom you saw me like this" I plead

"She doesn't know? It’s kind of hard to miss."

"She got off late and left early we didn't really see each other after I left the diner."

"I can't promise I won't tell her unless you have a good reason for me not to. What happened to you anyway?"

"I was jumped by a gang last night when I cut through Gibson Park on my way home."

"Gibson Park?" Suzy asked with a sympathetic look in her eyes that made me melt. I nod gently.

"Charlie Vandigriff, It's his gang that lurks around there. I'm sorry you ran into those creeps" she says in a tone that seems to reprove Charlie regardless of the fact he is not there to hear it.

"Just don't tell my mom"

"Why don't you want her to know? She is going to find out eventually. What, are you going to try to avoid her until your face isn't puffy and swollen? Because if you are, that is ridiculous"

"My mom just got the job at the diner. It’s her third job but it gives her piece of mind; more security, plans for the future, and I don't want to take that from her. If she finds out I was jumped on the way home from the diner she will quit and go right back to worrying about what bills to pay this month." Suzy looked at me thoughtfully with a conflicted expression. It was clear that she trying really hard to come to a decision. The bell rang and the door to Mr. Wagner's class room opened and with it came the stench of grammar. Suzy looks at the door and then back to me and says.

"I'll let you know after class" she then follows the flood of students funneling into the door. I don't try to fight the crowd, instead I wait until everyone is in the classroom and then walk over, in order to prevent my being nudged and jostled. I take a seat In front because all the desks toward the back of the room are taken up. I sit patiently and hope that I will be able to stay awake. If I fall asleep in the front row there is no chance that Mr. Wagner is not going to notice.

I sit up straighter in my chair then my usually posture though not to a notable straightness. I am much to sore to slouch or to sit with my back as flexed and stiff as a board. I was really too sore to do anything but lay prostrate on a flat surface with preference for my own bed but even then I knew I would ache. I was questioning my decision of showing up today; even secret agents get a day off, at least the ones in my day dreams do.

Mr. Wagner shuffles some papers at his desk during. students talk and chatter. The giggles and gossip of thirty freshmen and a few repeating sophomores caries on at a low roar until Mr. Wagner sets his papers down, stands, and walks to the center of the room. He coughs in his hand intrusively, loud enough so that everyone is keen to the warning call and quiets or silences their conversations.

"Excellent" Mr. Wagner says in a thick Russian accent

"Here is a no brainier, what is excellent?" he asks raising his hand as if to signal participation. A boy with long hair who I have known since 7th grade raises his hand. Mr. Wagner's eyes dim with an indiscreet lack of confidence in his shaggy students answer.

"Walter, what is excellent?"

"I think, the wonderful waves in our little slice of paradise are... well, EXCELLENT!" Walter says shouting the word excellent in his over pronounced and questionably authentic surfer accent.

"No" Mr. Wagner says promptly rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Walter has a hurt look on his face obviously taking the teachers prompt rejection of his enthusiasm, as a declaration of the non-excellence of the waves in half moon bay California.

"No, that is not what excellent is" he says making the disappointment and lack of surprise drip from every rejecting syllable. Marjory, who was one of the most passionately obvious kiss ups that may have ever graced the earth, raises her hand. The teacher's face lights up with a blatantly sarcastic and falsely eager tone then says with a matching tone

"Marjory, I'm sure you know the answer" he nods with an insulting smile and waits

"You are excellent Mr. Wagner" she says beaming! while Marjory's brand of flattery won over the hearts of a few of her teachers Mr. Wagner has yet found himself to be among their ranks. He was not impressed and seemed to be gratified in his sarcasm

"No" he says. Marjory's countenance falls along with her gaze which is now planted firmly on her desk.

"No, this is ridiculous! Have you all conspired to have me die of frustration before my time, you all will be the death of me! Excellent is an adjective! It’s an adjective! Is that really so hard?" he says seeming to bubble over like a pot of potatoes that has the burner turned up to high.

 He pauses and brings himself to a simmer. He dives into a lecture on adjectives and adjective phrases and something to do with punctuation but I am not really paying attention. It is clear he does his best not to solicit any participation from the class. Part way through the period Mr. Wagner gives directions to an in class assignment he is about to pass out. Its a worksheet that goes along with our grammar books. My already drooping eye lids mourn at the very concept behind the assignment. He places papers on each desk and quickly comes to my desk.

 He rears back and a noise escapes his mouth

"Ooo eeuuuogh, your face is repulsive" I just look back at him with an expression intending to communicate my unpleasant feelings toward him. My face being as pained as it is, it is difficult to form the expression I end up looking queasy. I am not frustrated because I figure how he makes me feel and queasiness isn’t all that different. I sit amused with this thought before flipping through the pages of my grammar text book listlessly avoiding the assignment as covertly as possible.

Time ticks on. my eyes become harder and harder to keep open. I try actually doing the assignment with the thought that doing something more than staring off into space while and flipping pages might help me stay conscious. the worksheet is simple. For a few minutes it works. My eyes follow each line. My pencil scribbles enduringly. my focus keeps me awake but Gradually the benefits of my new strategy become less Impacting. I now struggle not only to keep my eyes open but to keep my pencil from streaking long lines across my paper every time my eyes close and my hand slips.

 Eventually my best efforts fail and my eyes close. My mind seems to suspend itself as if it were a member of space ship's crew that have to freeze themselves to reach the destination of some far distant planet without having to age or experience the years it takes to get there. I had seen a movie where the characters did that. I feel like the way my mind feels must be how the characters would have felt if they had been real. I knew that time was passing but it felt like it was passing around me, not catching me in its current.

I open my eyes. I am not nearly as tired or sore. I look at my hands; flip them over and over in front of me. Was this my body? The strangest feeling is not being sure of the answer. I look around me. All of my classmates are studying apart from a select few who have finished, Marjory being one of them. Static fizzles on the intercom a few times. A voice echoes out.

"Can you please send Jacob Laugherty to the front Office" Mr. Wagner seemingly annoyed by the interruption hits the intercom button forcefully and says

"fine!" he waves for me to come and take a pass from him. I do as he indicates and walk to his desk, he waves me off like I'm a shoe fly trying to land and take a bite out of his arm. I take the note and ignore his emphatic gestures. 

I walk out of the classroom and walk down the hall. When I get to the end I pause at the bulletin board where all the flyers of the upcoming events and other events were always posted. It was a chaotic collage of colored paper. I lose interest after a few moments and continue on my way. I come close to the front doors of the school. the air is cold because the doors are open. It is raining again. I remember the night before. I am dazed and lost but I shake the feeling and try to put yesterday out of my mind. I lean on a wall for a few moments. I close my eyes and try to relax and breathe for a moment. 


Arms reach out of the shadows of an empty classroom and grab me. I blink and flail. I am surprised. I try to wiggle free. I am pulled inside by someone I can't see. I try to crane my neck around to try to see the face of whomever I am wrestling with, hoping with all my heart it’s not Charlie or Anthony. Once he pulls me In I am shoved to the floor. I roll over to get a glimpse of who he is. In the light that flows in from the hallway I see that the 'he' I had thought shoved me to the ground was in fact a 'she'.


 She wore a suit and tie with a trench coat and matching fedora. She closes the door behind her quickly.

"You haven't completed the mission” she says in the now very dark, nearly pitch black, room.

chapter 2 a walk in the dark episode: 4

Anthony was in my grade ever since I can remember. kindergarten, elementary, middle school, and now freshmen year of high school.  In kindergarten Anthony was nice in fact we were pretty good friends. In the rest of elementary Anthony became more and more confident until he was darn right pushy. In middle school he crossed the line and hurt a lot of people who cared about him. He would say things that would make you shake your head in disgust and any sympathy you might have for him, would be squashed every time he would start a fight with someone half his size. Near the end of eighth grade he started hanging out with some very dangerous people. I did not see him all summer or even much of the school year up to this point. I see him here and there but we don't share any classes. Our paths while occasionally parallel have never crossed.

Anthony has a red bandanna tide around his head and the guys that stand next to him I recognize as gang members that went to my school. The game has changed again and I know its not my lunch money I should worry about. there is a sharp feeling of danger in the air. my heart races. my tongue feels twice as big as normal and I'm pretty sure that even if I had anything to say it would come out in a mess. I breathe in deeply. Each inhale and exhale is broken up into several pieces by powerful and frantic pounds of my heart against my rib cage.
"Your out kind of late aren't you" says one of the gang standing to the immediate left of Anthony
"Your right I should be getting home" I say much more intelligibly then I previously thought possible. I start walking toward the trees with every muscle tensing out of fear. a hand of one of them rests on my shoulder with a grip that seems to have the power to drain someone of all hope. I turn around and again look at the face of the one who had stopped me. I summon courage from some forgotten part of myself and make direct eye contact with him.
"When you pass through this part of town this late you have to pay a toll. The toll is the exact amount of everything you have in your wallet." after he finishes speaking I scramble through my pockets to find my wallet. I find it and toss it to him with out hesitating. He opens it and looks at the cash pocket in the back and sees there is only one dollar. He throws the wallet down into the mud with a look of disappointment and frightening optimism.
"I was wrong. it seems that you don't have nearly enough. This is a shame. You have disrespected me and my friends by coming here with out a decent amount of money. We are going to have to teach you respect." he steps forward. I fall down with out him even touching me. they all laugh. he grabs my shirt and says
"Here, let me help you stand up" he puts me on my feet and slaps me hard with one hand but keeps me from falling with his other hand's tight grip on my shirt. My face stings and burns. He punches me in the gut and holds me upright for a moment before letting me fall to the muddy earth. I writhe in pain and try to find my breath. He turns to his cohorts and says simply
"Do you know why he is not fighting back?" they all shake their heads or mumble no or other wise grunt to communicate they don't know the answer.
"It is because he is too frightened to" he pauses for a moment.
"And that is a very good thing" he crouches down to where I lay curled up and says so I can hear him clearly over the rain that was coming down very hard at this point.
"Because if he did fight back, I would kill him" he grabs me by the shirt again but only pulls me half way up. He kicks me in the face. Blood sprays out of my nose like a faucet. I clutch my face and groan loudly. My face is erupting with more pain then I can handle and rain camouflaged tears fill my eyes. It gets suddenly colder and thunder and lightening crack and boom. The rest is a blur of kicks from all of them as they circled around me, a helpless heap of blood and mud.

 I do not know how long I lay there cold and defeated but eventually I regain some portion of awareness. My body is a confusing mixture of pain and numbness. I will become seriously sick if I continue to lay here in this severely cold rain. I sit up and slowly get to my feet. the park is empty. the street lamps that had once lit the park are dark. the only light comes from the street lights back on the road or from the frequent flashes of lightning that cascade over everything I can see. going back to the road and facing any possibility of seeing them again was to overwhelming to enter my mind for more then a second. I face the woods, knowing I will have to climb down and up the walls of the gully on the other side of the trees with a badly bruised and broken body. It seems almost a comfort compared to the road.

I limp and shuffle holding my sides with crossed arms until I pierce the line of trees at the edge of the park. It is dark and wet, but the trees even with nearly bare limbs seem to have sympathy for me. The scanty but welcome shelter of the branches decreases the rain to a medium tempo. I am reminded of the intensity of the storm with each illuminating flash of lighting and each time water is dumped on my in the bare spots where no branches have grown. I continue my labored journey through the woods. Another of the reoccurring flashes almost blindingly brings every detail into sharp focus.

 I see a figure dart behind a tree. I fall to my knees and fight back the overwhelming sobs that threaten to flood from me. I whimper and cry knowing I can't do anything against who ever it is I saw. I am too defeated to be afraid. another flash and another time I see the figure dart behind another tree. I set myself on my side and rest. I'm to tired to support myself on my knees. the figure comes from out of his hiding place and walks toward me in the darkness. I just watch to see the events unfold how ever they will. lighting strikes dangerously close. I see the stranger, he is dressed in all black with his head wrapped in a clothe of some kind.

I'm filled with a fury toward myself. I am looking at a ninja. there was only on explanation, I am day dreaming. I slowly get to my feet. I am delirious and filled with heavy frustration and wounds that are far more deep then the bruises, and possibly broken ribs.
"ahhhh" I yell at the figment "Ahhhh" I yell again "Why are you here?! Why now?! Why..." I shout and trail off.

Am I so far gone, so delirious that I'm haunted by my useless imagination? I think to myself. Am I in shock? Just ignore him, no mater how much you want to yell at him just ignore him... Ignore it. I walk forward and try to walk through the apparition. When I come close enough I put out my hand with the intention of It passing through first. I come in contact with a very solid chest. "Ahhhh" I yell for the third time "You're not real!" I push but it does not move "Your not real! So move out of my way!" after a few secants of it not moving I walk around it and continue on toward the gully.

It is dark and wet, but the trees even with nearly bare limbs seem to have sympathy for me. The scanty but welcome shelter of the branches decreases the rain to a medium tempo. I am reminded of the intensity of the storm with each illuminating flash of lighting and each time water is dumped on me in the bare spots where no branches have grown. I continue my labored journey through the woods. Another of the reoccurring flashes almost blindingly brings every detail into sharp focus.

I see the edge of the gully. I prepare myself in hopes that when I come close enough to climb down, I will have the mental energy to even attempt it. Im not certain I've succeded in that effort when I finnally reach it but regaurdless, I get down on my hands and knees do what needs to be done. I crawl backwards down the steep muddy slope. I do my best to stay steady with my numb and nearly useless hands. I use a large stone planted into the mud as a foot hold to lower myself down.

 the stone holds my weight just long enough for me to missplace my trust.  It dislodges from the mud and I roll down the unforgiving face of the hill. Rocks and sharp brambles cut my skin and bruise me much worse then Im sure I can feel through the cold. Water is flowing ankle deep through the bottom of the gully. I do my best to get to my feet before I become too exhausted. My feet feel like inarticulate flopping stubs on the ends of my legs. I balance and walk as well as I can across the rocky bottom. walking in betwen weed covered mounds and grassy low spots. I try to zig zag and outline the most level parts of the gully floor.

I progress carefully untill I reach the other imposing slope of the gully. Im sure I can't climb it. I walk parallel to the slope. I hope I can find a shallow incline to walk up. eventually I find one after a long search. I walk up to the top. through the shallow of the remaining trees I see the same patch of land with no grass I had walked along earlier that day. The shopping cart still there, upside down, and the graffitied bridge with its comforting familiarity. The stream that runs underneath the bridge is now rushing powerfully. I walk across the bridge to the complex I live at. The rain is starting to lighten to a drizzle.

 I dig through my pockets to find my key but wether I have forgotten it or my hands don't have enough feeling left to sense it in my soaked pockets I cant tell. I can't find my key. I crawl up the steps with an almost obsesive determination. When I reach the top I lean my back against the door and am thankful to be home even if I'm not inside. I feel safe. I don't feel lost anymore. I don't have to walk any further. I'm done. I close my eyes and rest for a long time. I feel as though I could sleep for days. A cold wind blows and my soaked clothes slap my body. I shiver more violently then I had been and I have no hope of even resting my eyes.

I see a decerative metal rabit and in desperation I grab it with my clumsy hands intending on braking the lock on the door, or at least attempt to. as I turn half way around I see a gimmar. I had left my key stuck in the front door! I use all my strength to grip the key with both hands, trying to squeeze out the last bit of hand strength I have left to open the door. It clicks and swings open. I imediatly walk in and shut the door. I grab a quilt off the couch and head for the bathroom, strip off my wet clothes, and wrap myself in the quilt. I turn on the shower as hot as I can so that steam will fill the room. I let myself collapse on the bathroom floor and I fall asleep.

ch 1 ships and capes: episode 3

the sun is low in the sky. I put my hands in my pockets because its getting colder. I wind through the streets. I see shops different businesses in my periphery. I walk with my head down and I stare at the side walk pass underneath me. the lines of where the different slabs of concrete came together on the side walk start at the top of my line of sight and disappear under my feet. I play a little game and try to put my foot in the same spot on each section of side walk. The sections are too big and my steps are too small. my steps rotate between landing on the top of each square to landing near the bottom line that divides each slab. I'm put into a trance by the regular pattern of my steps and my mind is almost completely blank for several moments.

The sun is completely below the horizon. The orange glow that usually fills the sky in the late afternoon has faded into purple while I am distracted by the side walk. Little pin pricks sprout above me that shine and sparkle happily. I hear cars pass on the road next to me. I stop and look around me.
"Darn it!" I say out of pure frustration a little louder then I intend to.

I turn around and start to back track to correct some wrong turns. I look at my watch and it becomes painfully clear I had been walking in the wrong direction for that last twenty minutes. I decide to head to the park with the Idea of of cutting across and saving time. I would have to walk through a grove of trees that was overridden with weeds and Ivy that flowed into a gully. I know I'll end up with stickers in my socks and be spooked by the spidery fingers that creep along every surface that will hold a shadow. there was a lot of branches that spring hadn't provided green for yet and they still had eerie silhouettes.

I fight the force of gravity on my chin and don't stare at the ground. this choice is made from newly acquired wisdom regarding the attention I pay to where I wind my path. It it is a ways until I'll be able to even see the park and with my complicated and extended route ahead of me I reflect on mom's 'big news'. That she shared with me. The selfless and forming adult inside of me knows that this is great news because of the financial security and quality of life it will bring. The same part of me knows we are able to adapt to this knew situation. The selfish not yet formed adult inside of me would gladly trade financial security to have my mom around more then one day a week. To that side of me it seems unfair, it seems to much to ask. mom and I are close, I could depend on the consistent advice and encouragement not to mention letting me in our apartment when I forgot my key. The selfless forming adult had the final rebuttal, it was what she wanted. How could I not reciprocate the encouragement and support she had always given me?


I'm conflicted but resigned to be positive. My mind drifts from one thought to another in search of something to think about that takes less determination to be positive about. I catch a glimpse of a comic book shop. There are several posters of superheros in dramatic poses, most of them with equally dramatic muscles etched into their costumes. They are larger then life. there is an undeniably epic quality to them. the thought slows my pace.

I look down on a clean vibrant metropolitan city from my perch on top of a sky scrapper. I hear the rustle of a cape flapping in the wind behind me. I glory in the suns warmth and close my eyes to let my face bathe in the light. my eyes snap open. I leap from the top of the building and fall faster then a bullet. the ground comes hurling towards me. I hope and will the ground to not hit me and some how I slow down and land gracefully on my feet. cars are scattered in unnatural positions some of them smashed. car horns blare and tires screech.

I'm not sure what to think. I feel strong and confident. I walk forward into the midst of the mayhem and watch with curious eyes at a cloud of dust that floats patiently. despite all the wreckage it begins to be quiet. most of the people had managed to stampede away all the cars rest peacefully on side walks or are stacked precariously on each other. it was odd and out of place. Every detail screams that something bad is about to happen but I don't know what to do or where to go or if i should go. The best I can do Is watch and wait for whatever is going to happen to happen. The dust is beginning to clear but it is still thick and coarse in the air.

I clench my hands into fists and I feel my fingers curl into the rock hard muscle in the palm of my hands. There is a blur that pokes a giant whole through the dust and knocks me down. it is too fast to see. dazed and confused I do my best to stand up. Everything is spinning and I cant get my eyes to focus. After a few seconds my eyes focus. I dust my self off and look up to sky. Laughter streams into the air echoing off of buildings all around me. I try to determine where its coming from but seems to come from every direction I look. I see a blur and throw a wild punch into the air in front of me hoping to hit something but I only make contact with air. suddenly its hard to breath and I clutch my stomach and choke and cough from an unseen blow to my middle. As strong as I feel I can't seem to accomplish anything. I know I need to succeed. Somehow I just sense its my duty to but it seems almost impossible. I stumble back and am helpless against a barrage of blows. I manage to cover my face with my arms. my abdomen aches and screams for mercy until... silence.

I open my eyes and there standing in front of me is a man. He has hair as black as night combed neatly to the side. I look deep into his eyes that are sagging and dark from lack of sleep. My mind flies in every direction with out settling on a single thought. a smile comes to the corner of his mouth that seems to draw every shadow.
"If this is the best earth has to offer then I don't Imagine it will take long for the rest to fall" he says kicking small pile of dust and fragments of rubble.

I look at him in amazement. It seems so impossible like it is some distant scene that has nothing to do with me. So I look at it from a distance. I remove myself from all of the fear and hurt. I remove myself from the rubble and the looming defeat. The details of it all sets into me, along with a greater resolve. I stand up straight with my shoulders square. I tighten fists. I feel my strength flow up my arms into my shoulders and down into my aches that seem now to be fading into the background.

He stands there in front of me unimpressed and chuckling darkly. There is a moment that we share where he seems to gloat and wait. I leap forward and close the short distance between us and strike into dead air where he had been standing. I turn as fast as I can and I see him there on I try again and grip a hand full of nothing. I close my eyes and take in a quick breath. A flash illuminates my mind and I remember the few moments I had spent in free fall from the top of the building I had perched myself on top of. I had somehow landed perfectly simply by willing it. I will myself off the ground but nothing happens.

a sharp pain explodes up my side but somehow I find the strength to not curl up. another blur floods my peripheral vision and bursts into the side of my face like a broken dam. pain washes over me as I fall to the ground. shiny floating wisps swim in the air. the man in the green and black suit stands over me. is this the end? when I feel so strong? I look up at the sky and remember William shanks and my day dream on my ship burnt sails and all. With all the danger of a fire burning squid I had always known what to do. I longed for the simplicity of more familiar dramatics. A villainous black boot plants its self on my chest but I don't break my stare away from the sky. I will my self into the sky and then, before I can process my actions, I throw the foot from me. I expertly move my feet underneath myself and launch myself into the air. Every moment I know I should be falling. Everything I know tells me I should fall but I keep going higher. The clouds rush over my skin. I feel and smell the cool mist before I stop.

What changed? What is different about this attempt from the one before? It is not obvious to me. what ever the difference Is it isn't in the neon letters i need it to be. I look down passed my perpetually suspended feet at the city below, passed the towering hight of the impressively built buildings below. In their shadow is chaos and an unfinished battle that only I can fight. I have to come down. I will my self to the scene of destruction I have just left. Immediately I begin to sink into a free fall with my nose facing the ground. I understand what I need to do. I will the ground to come towards me as hard as I can. A tremendous burst of speed  launches me faster then I could have imagined. I will the ground away from me almost to late. The dust for miles is thrown into the air. I stop with my feet in a slight creator but firmly on the ground.

I meet my opponent again in the cloud of dust I have just tossed up. All that I can see of him is an obscure silhouette. I know what is coming. having been on the receiving end of a thousand punches and kicks I can't see any other outcome then one. there is going to be a blur and then an excruciating pain. This time will be different I think to my self. I'm not even sure in the slightest but I had a theory. I didn't fly up when I willed myself to fly. I flew up when I willed myself to be closer to the sky. It was the same when I landed, I willed the ground away and I slowed and stopped.

My theory is that instead of willing myself to go faster I will, will the man in the green and black suit  to slow down and maybe in response I will speed up. It was a crazy theory but that was more then I had had ever since I had given up my lofty perch and my surplus of confidence. I take my theory and put what ever mental energy I can and put it behind an Olympian effort to will him to be slow. A flash and my head pounds and throbs with the painful failure of my plan. Of course it didn't work! I stumble in the dark shadow of the dust that has not yet cleared and out of frustration punch a pile of rubble. An avalanche showers down on top of me and I will It to stop, to slow, to not come. it ignores my thoughts and every exertion of my heart. It comes faster then I know I can move. I close my eyes. I  hoped the entire world to stop moving just because everything tells me it can't, just like when I was flying and everything told me I should fall. I open my eyes.

I'm not buried. At this point I'm so confused I'm not sure what to think. A moment that was not unique among the many moments that had recently transpired. I use what I have learned and shoot upwards into the air. Everything returned to its normal speed and the avalanche continued beneath me and completely devours the space I had taken up the moment before. I stop everything again as I had. I put my feet on the ground. I see the dust move as I pass through it slowly filling in the trail I leave behind. I wait and then I see him. the man runs towards me at a sprint and throws a fist. He is quick and athletic but now longer a blur. this time I can see him and we are much more matched in speed. Before his punch comes close enough to make contact with me. I snap out my fist with a sickening crack against his face. The force of the punch throws him through the dust and out of sight.

 I walk forward cautiously returning to a normal speed. The dust begins to settle and moves gently towards the ground. I see him laying off a ways on the ground not moving. The closer I get the more I am relieved to see that he is both breathing and no longer a threat. His nose is in a distorted and unnatural shape. Blood is streaked and speckled on his chin and under his nose. I sit down and rest. I close my eyes and let the sunlight wash over my face.

No mater how warm and pleasing the sun feels on my face in a vivid daydream it can't change the bone chilling wind that is blowing right through me. I walk further. I quicken my pace from the slow crawl I had reduced to because of my absorption into another epic world. No mater how important it may have been to defeat the yet undefined villain in a green and black suit it was just a day dream. I am getting very cold. My arms were covered in goose bumps. Shivers shoot up and down every part of me. I am frustrated with the time I wasted. I only added to the time it will take me to get home. I turn the corner and see the the park that should have come into view much sooner.

I step on to the soft grass and walk across toward the tree line. I glance over at some tables. I have a terrifying realization that I am not the only one visiting the park this late at night. I start to shiver more violently out of mixture of cold and fear. Thunder cracks and rain starts to fall. The water soaks into every inch of my clothes. The already penetrating cold some how finds warmth inside of me I was unaware of and disposes with it. I stop unsure. The conflicting impulses to stay still so I won't be noticed and to sneak away and hope that I will not be seen joust for dominance but neither find victory. It is quickly clear that I have been spotted. The same battle between impulses continues though now between whether I should run for my life or reason for it. the distance shrinks steadily until, by no effort for or against it, I am again faced with an unsurmountable and unconscionable wall only this one had the ugly, unforgiving presence of reality.

ch 1 ships and capes: episode 2

"You got a B on your physics test?" she asks "why that is terrific! What do you say we celebrate?"
"What did you have in mind?" I ask with pleasant premonitions rolling through my mind.
"Put your coat on, I’ll take you to the diner and I’ll let you pick out anything you want to eat" she says with a smile. I don't understand why this test was more important than other tests that received better scores in the past. Whatever the reason I'm glad. I put on my coat and we head out the door. Mom takes a few more moments. On the way to the diner my head is fills with visions of dancing hamburgers and malted milk shakes. My visions evaporate and I turn my attention to the houses that we pass by.
"So what else did you do today?"
As often as I was asked questions like this it would have made more sense to take notes during the day and write out a report. It’s not that I didn't remember, I just couldn't help but draw a blank when I was asked. My first response was more of a vain hope that I wouldn't have to rehearse the day’s events as if I had lined up my thoughts beforehand. I seem to have problems focusing. I wrack my brain until something falls out
"Um today we played basket ball in P.E."
"You must have enjoyed that. Isn't basketball one of your favorite sports?"
"Yeah I like playing it but I only enjoyed it for so long because I was hit in the jaw."
"What happened?" she asked with a small share of concern in her tone
"I was going for the ball and Ammon popped me in the jaw with his elbow"
"Was it on purpose?"
"I don't know but I doubt it. My jaw is stiff and it hurts when I open it to wide"
"Well I'm sure it’s just inflammation, you'll be alright." she says
I'm not sure if she is trying to be comforting or if she doesn't think it matters though I'm content with either. I rub my jaw and open it to stretch the sore muscles and joints that hinged it to the rest of my head. I felt like the creaky door of a haunted house only the groaning was from injured hinges not un-oiled ones. I close my mouth, sit thoughtfully for a moment, then end the solitude of the un-intrusive serenade of the background road noise.
"So how was your day?" I asked
"It was fantastic actually! Tonight is to celebrate good news for both of us" she says excitedly though clearly trying to hide exactly how excited she was
"I know I got a B on my physics test and that no big deal, but what is your big news?"
"I think it would be best if I gave you my news at the diner." she smiles.
"Suit yourself, I guess. We’re almost there anyway"
My response wasn't as eager as it should have been though mom's face doesn't fall an inch from its happy, excited expression. I really am eager I don't know why I responded so blandly. It isn't every day we eat at the diner. For anyone else it would seem ordinary maybe for some routine, for us it was a special occasion. Mom was a single parent and worked two jobs, we always had enough but not much more. We eat out rarely because it costs so much. I am secretly tortured with curiosity and impatience to know what my mom is bringing me to the diner to tell me. The car finally turns into the parking lot of the diner. We walk in and sit down at a table. I waste no time and immediately seek to end my miserable curiosity
"What is the big news?" I said doing as badly at covering up the full extent of my curiosity as my mom did her excitement when she told me she had news.
"I thought I'd wait to tell you until after we've gotten our food."
"Mom, your killing me!"
"Just be patience, now order anything on the menu sky is the limit!"
I raise a suspicious eyebrow but don't say anymore about it. I look at the menu and I feel a greediness fill my eyes until it overflows and lands in my stomach like a brick. If I wasn't hungry before, smelling the food in the air and looking at the pictures and reading descriptions of the entrees in the menu made it definitively so. I decide to test the waters. Mom said 'the sky is the limit' so I choose something a little more pricey and just mention it
"I was thinking about getting a steak, a large shake, and some onion rings." I say with a wry smile and a wink as if it were a joke.
"Sure honey, get whatever you want." she replies simply without looking up from her menu. I'm caught off guard and stare blankly for a second.
"What would you fine folks like to drink?" says a girl with an oddly familiar voice. Despite the familiarity I jump a little in my seat having been entirely oblivious to her approach.
"You know what you want William, why don't you order first" mom says with an I know something that you don't look on her face.
"I'll have a small chocolate malt shake and a small order of fries" I say in a small voice. I notice as I turn and look at the waitress I had given my order to again jump in my seat a little. It was Suzy Thompson from school! Suzy is a very pretty girl, a very pretty girl I had never talked to before. I realize quickly that I didn't know she worked there because I rarely came to the diner.
"Okay a small shake and..." she manages to say before my mom corrects her
"No, he will have a medium rare stake, a large chocolate malt shake, and an order of onion rings" she says as if she were reading something note worthy in the news paper rather then what it was to me, which was... embarrassing... I breathe in and hold my breath for a moment. Maybe if I hold it long enough it will change the fact that she is looking straight at me looking for confirmation that my new order is the correct one. I exhale, and nod my head sheepishly. She smiles a little out of the corner of her mouth, nods in acknowledgment, and then turns to mom.
"And what would you like ma'am?"
"I'll have a salad and an order of onion rings"
"What about to drink?"
"Water"
"Coming right up"
Suzy hops off to deliver the orders and I put my head in my hands.
"What’s wrong?" mom asks turning her head sideways. It’s clear that she doesn't have the faintest inkling of the embarrassment I felt. I sigh and let it go. It was of small consequence and not worth a second thought let alone and explanation.
"Nothing, but how long are you going to make me wait to hear your news?"
"I told you I'll tell you when we get are food, trust me"
We continue on talking about our days. I mention things like the stairs on the east side of campus still not being finished but how it should be soon. I learn from her that she was thinking about joining a book club with some of the other mothers in our apartment complex but isn't sure she can. When I ask why she only says it has to do with her big news. After a few minutes Suzy comes by with a tray with two plates and two cups.
"Enjoy!" she says cheerfully and steps off to help some people that had just arrived
"So can you tell me now?"
"Take a bite first"
"Mom!"
"Okay fine, how would you like to eat like this a few nights a week?"
"That would be nice, I suppose"
"Well here is the great news, I’ve been hired here as a waitress and I have a substantial discount so you can! Good news huh?"
My eyes widen. I look down at the steak and then back up at mom.
"Did you get fired from one of your other jobs?"
"No I have three jobs now."
I sit for a moment. "When do you work here?"
"Six days a week. Five o'clock until 10."
I take a bite of my stake and my mouth swims in the juices and my brain melts.
"Of course that means that we will see a lot less of each other for a while." she continued "you'll have to come here after school to have dinner and we'll talk before my shift starts." I begin to put food into my mouth with greater enthusiasm. Mom makes it clear from her face that she is glad I enjoy the food but concerned about how not seeing each other enough will affect me. I get half way through my stake, my sore jaw complaining against every bite, and then stop.
"I guess this means I'll have to remember my key from now on" I say. Mom chuckles a little.
"Mom, we can make this work but why do you need a third job? I thought we were doing fine"
"I'm tired of living pay check to pay check. I took the job here at the diner so that we can have some savings, something for a rainy day not to mention money for when you go to college."
"I could get a job, it would be better then you having three and us not seeing each other"
"Let’s wait to the end of the year and see how your grades are and then get you a job this summer. I don't want to take time away from your studies. You got a B on your physics test but you've been walking a tight rope in English and algebra"
I nod and then finish my food as enthusiastically as I started it and then lean back my stomach with a pleasant ache and my jaw still protesting the steak. I close my eyes for a moment and enjoy the feeling and then have a thought
"So when is your first day?" I ask
A look of panic wipes across her face like a tidal wave
"Ten minutes ago!" she half shouts. She runs off and returns nearly twenty minutes later wearing waitress's uniform just like the one Suzy was wearing earlier when she took our order.
"I'm sorry honey but you’re going to have to walk home. I lost track of time and was late on my first day so I don't think it’s a good Idea for me to ask for me duck out to give you a ride. It’s about as far from here to our apartment as your school is so you should be fine. I'll see you when I get home honey" she says before quickly shuffling off to a girl much younger then here who seemed to be teaching her about the job.
I do as I was instructed and start the long walk home.

ch 1 ships and capes: episode 1

I walk along the path I always have leading from school to home balancing on the curb between the sidewalk and the gutter. I never miss a step more out of practice then anything else. The path winds until I take a shortcut and break from the road down a hill into a dirty patch where no grass grows. Except for a stranded overturned grocery cart and a stream running under a  bridge covered in graffiti, there isn’t much to look at. I watch my feet leave foot prints in the soft dirt, occasionally looking up to see if anyone is around I don't want to run in to. Clouds sail across the sky like pirates looking for treasure. I wonder what it would be like to be a pirate on a cloud and I run through my mind and as I always did a day dream to help me pass the time on the walk home from school. This was a habit I have had for as long as I can remember.


"Captain!" one of the crew yells "It’s coming quick. It’s almost on top of us!"
I decide that he is my first mate and that I trust him
"Bring her around quick as you can," I say calmly as though the situation is simple and routine "load the guns!"
My trusted first mate nods and starts shouting orders, and the men start heaving ropes and rushing about
the boat swings quickly and I find myself face to face with a gigantic fire breathing squid
"arg!" is all I manage to say
my trusted first mate sees my shock and springs into action
"fire the cannons!" he shouts
he grabs me by the collar of my shirt and jacket and shakes me a little
and then says very clearly but quietly enough that only I can hear
"captain I will follow you from this world into the next, but you need to pull yourself together and prove to the rest of the crew you are who I know you are"
I nod and he lets go.
I run and grab the largest harpoon that is in sight. I lash a rope around it as tightly and as quickly as I can

I lash the other end of the long rope to the mast of the ship. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I open them only so see a wall of flames rushing towards me I duck behind the mast. The mast is badly damaged and the sails are severely singed, almost entirely dissolved. Defying all reason the rope that I had tied is still in one piece. I don't know if I can trust it in fact I’m pretty sure I can’t but I have no time. My first mate was right I need to show them I’m a captain worth following into battle. I turn to face the beast his monstrous tentacles stretching and wrapping around the burnt but hardy hull of the ship.

I run from one side of the deck to the other leaping and pushing off from the edge of the ship. I fly through the air, but not over water. I see below me a light blue that plummets down forever. Clouds make it clear beyond any self deception that we are impossibly high in the air. I land on the head of the beast but my footing is uneven and the skin of the beast is too smooth. I slip and begin to descend. I frantically try to halt my progress I know wouldn't end with a splash and a quick swim to the surface. I know if I fall off, it’s for keeps. Just before I give up hope the rope running from the mast to the harpoon in my hands becomes taught and I come to an abrupt stop. I dangle above the clouds and the light blue nothingness. I climb the rope until I reach the top of the ugly bulbous head of the squid. The rope snaps. I reach for the nearest thing to grip. My fingers latch around the beast's eyelid and I feel its whole body wince under my tiny grip. I pull myself up, give a fatal push to the harpoon straight down and then…

And then I knock on the front door because I forgot my key. My daydream fades away. I start to think about the homework I need to complete before I’m allowed to play video games. no answer, I look down from the stairs in front of our second story apartment at our parking space I hadn't even glanced at on my way up on account of the fire breathing squid I had almost fallen off of. No car.

I set my book bag next to the door and climb down the stairs and walk over to the playground area where I usually waited when my mom had to stay later at work. Sure I’m a little old for a play ground but is there such a thing as to old? I didn't know and it never occurred to me to ask myself. I sit down on the far left swing and drag my feet as I come forward; each time I swing making twin ditches with each foot. I go over the assignments I need to complete. There is the grammar assignment that I frankly do not look forward to, not that I mind grammar assignments they are just hard to focus on especially with a mind full of pirates. I have math and history. I sit there swinging digging in with the tops of my feet to make the trails under them deeper.

The thought comes to me I never gave my trusted first mate a name. After all that he did for me the least I could do was give him a name. I mull over a few names and finally settle on William shanks. I go further and develop his character a little bit more. He was from a small sky island which of course would appear to someone beneath it to be a cloud. William shanks was born on a small island and was dropped into a storm cloud when he was young. A terrible accident when his mother was thrown by a gust of wind nearly falling from their small island. It was unsure if the cloud would hold the weight of the small child. He slowly sank into its dark and troubled vapors. A world of chaos and lightning swirled around him. It is uncertain how exactly he returned to the island but his hair was white and his eyes crackled with static from then on.

He grew and felt a longing to fly to float on the skies as he had always dreamed of. He saw the first pirate ship that came by as an opportunity and has been my first mate ever since. I decided that instead of Captain Jake, instead I would be Captain Andre the second. Most would address me as Captain occasionally my full title but William shanks my right hand man would always call me Andre.

I hear the rolling tires of the 97 ford torus my mom drives pull through the parking lot. I pick up my now filthy feet and march in the direction of my apartment. I come around the corner. I see my mom and resign myself to the agony of home work.
"How was your day?"
"Good" I respond
"Mr. you know that 'good' is never the answer I’m looking for"
"what did you do today"
The first thing that comes into my mind is a fire breathing squid but somehow I say
"I got a B on my physics test."